Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Feels Like

Everything went black.Suddenly, I can't see but I am conscious that I can't see but I can hear.
And then.. nothing. Just the sound of silence and the darkness. I felt lost. Lost in another world.

It is hard to bear the look you gave me. I don't want to make you worry baby.

Saturday, February 01, 2014

"I have learned that in life it is better to have a few friends who stick with you thru the hard times and good times than a crowd who you don’t know well… well enough to say who will be staying and who will be leaving, or the worse if there are who call themselves as your friend but in the end, will betray you and stab your back, really hard. I’d rather be alone if that’s the case!

I love my friends especially those I consider my ‘real’ friends but I am not saying that the others are ‘fake’ or anything like that it’s just those ‘real’ friends are those who I really am closed, attached and clingy with. Yes, I am a clingy friend. And bossy. And insensitive (to their feelings). And too sensitive (with my feelings).  I think that I am the shattered one in the group though it doesn’t look like on the outside. With my attitude, that I am not planning to change for things-not-so-much-worth-it, I am very thankful that my ‘real’ friends are still with me and that makes them my ‘real’ friends.

I am still thinking. After seeing the movie that made my cry about a glass of tears, I found myself thinking. Thinking about my friends, my ‘real’ friends. It raised questions in my mind. Do I really have people around me that I can call true friends? Were our friendships is like the friendship that Rancho, Farhan and Wangdu have. Who will cry the most at my funeral? Maybe the right question to ask is will there be anyone to cry at my funeral aside from my family? Will there be people who will do things for me, without me asking to, but because they simply want to. They simply want to see me really happy. Funny thing is I don’t know if there is even one out a hundred who know what do I really want and what really makes me happy."

This is a little part of the reaction paper I am doing right now. I don't know if I am going to really submit a paper like this, like too personal. But I want to be myself na. I want to express what's inside me to people I am not really attached with. Why? After a semester, swerte kung matandaan pa nya ako. Swerte kung matandaan pa nya yung mga pinaglalagay ko sa reaction paper na hinihingi nya.
Swerte kung magkita pa kami ng madalas.

It's hard to admit but I even cried while writing that part. cried at the thought of how friend-less i am.