Wednesday, June 14, 2017

am i really unlovable?
insecurity is killing me :(

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

i'm getting tired of this, i'm getting tired of life. i wanna give up :(

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

I will love you

"If I could make it better, I would.

I would swallow the sun and kiss it straight into your mouth if it meant you’d feel warm again. I would bury green gardens deep inside your heart if it meant you would blossom there. I would pull myself apart, jagged bone and soft skin, if it meant I could find the right pieces to put you back together again.

I would, darling. I would. But I can’t. For I learned time and time again that human beings cannot be saved, or fixed, or grown by others — they can only be loved. So I will love you, and I will love you well.

I will love you on the days your laughter meets your eyes, and I will love you just as much when it does not. I will love you on the days you are made of light, and I will love you just as much when the world feels like a load you have to carry upon your shoulders. I will love you through your healing, and I will love you through your hurt. I will love you through your peace, and I will love you through your pain. I will love you when you love yourself, and I will love you when you do not.

I refuse to fall in love with the idea of who you can be if I were to nip and tuck and patch and sew you into someone else. If I were to throw a blanket over the baggage in your ribcage, only focusing on the prettiest parts of you. I refuse to love you in halves. So — show me where you thrive, and I will love you there. Show me where you break and I will love you there. Show me where you hope and I will love you there. Show me where you doubt and I will love you there. Show me where you hide, and I will love you there. Show me your open heart, flayed and beating in its decay and in its growth, and I will love it, darling."


Friday, August 05, 2016

I can hardly remember the last time I posted here. Haha!
I've been so dedicated with my life. charot!
I'm working now and uhm, today, August 5th is the last day of my contract in my first job. Goodbye probationary life, hello regularization! :)
Yes, it does feel good. I achieved and proved something on my own. :)

Saturday, October 31, 2015

May Forever!

Lahat ng babae may insecurity sa sarili nya, and that's normal for me.
I've been one insecure lass.. and I think it is time for me to vent over this.. to lessen the feeling.
I'm insecure with your lady friends, yes, you read that right.
First of all, you're so close to them that it looks like your not ONLY friends, I mean you look more than friends. Then what people can all see on your timeline (for over a year now) is you with lady friend A or you with lady friend B. People are asking 'break na ba kayo?' 'sila na ba ni lady friend A?' 'nililigawan ba nya si lady friend B?' and kapag sinagot ko sila ng 'No' they'll give me this ows-di-nga look. Di ko naman sila masisi if they're to think that way cos I sometimes would also like to question myself about our relationship on the outside.
Meron 'tong apat na klase, una yung personally nagtatanong, ikalawa yung nag tatanong online (post/comment/chat), ikatlo yung chumichismis (tanong sa kanan - tanong sa kaliwa) at pang apat yung nagtatanong sa sarili nya with conclusion pa minsan (sila ba ni *tuuut*? Ayy sila siguro).
Things made me insecure of myself sometimes. When lady friend A and lady friend B are so pretty, it made me insecure of how I look. I have blemishes on my face, pimple marks, not-so normal eyelids, not-so pretty nose and weak-ain't-pretty teeth.
What made me really feel sadly-awkward is when it is my own family asking if we're together and will say 'eh? hindi ba nya yun girlfiend?' 'bakit ganun?' and then I can't defend myself cos when people would look at how you made things look like when at the eyes of other people, I am not your girlfriend.
Nakakalungkot lang talaga that this is how you made things look like.

And because of that, ladies, may forever! Insecurities are forever! (as to this) LOL


Friday, October 16, 2015

Digi-Perm at TandJSalon

Hello people!
I got my hair digi-permed at TandJSalon last August 15, if I am not mistaken.
I think everyone is familiar with the Salon, right?

T&J Salon Professional is created from the masters of techniques, from training ground of Bangs T&J Salon same professionalism and quality made affordable.

*please bear with my photos, I will try to have decent and worth posting ones next time*
I don't even have the before-during-and-after photo. Forgive me ;p
The procedure took 4 hours from consultation to styling of your hair (blowdry) before you walk out of the salon.
Getting your hair digi-permed is not easy at all, the stylist needs to check your hair if it is possible to be permed or not, which is the case of those who have their treated like rebond, relax or colored.
By the way, my hair was done by miss Tina of TandJ 168 Mall.

This is the second night after the perming.
You are not suppose to wet your hair until the third day.

If you think that having digi-permed hair is easy and low maintenance, you are mistaken.
If you are lazy (like me) who don't normally condition her hair everyday, that is a no-no now. I learn to apply conditioner everyday and apply treatment at least once a week. I use the L'OrĂ©al Total Repair 5 Deep Repairing Mask (20Php/sachet) available in the supermarket.
After bath: You can gently squeeze the water from your hair BUT YOU CAN'T rub your hair with your towel unlike what we used to do before and while hair still damp, you have to twist, and twist, and twist your hair. Haha! You can also apply the 'everyday product' of your preference. 

my curls turned to waves after I combed it. hahaha
also, it is forbidden for permed hair to combed or brush the permed area, only the top part.
You can visit their site by clicking the link above, it will direct you to their page.
They have several promos every now and then.

Their site is very helpful. From news, service rates, promos, Hairstyle Gallery (Perm, Rebond and Color), Hair Care Products, Branches and they even have a Customer Support Chat where you can ask questions or inquiries and you will be replied shortly.

I am thinking of having my hair colored, color suggestions?
I am also open about Salon suggestions that offer quality hair color at a lower price :)

Got a permed hair too? Share your experience with me! 

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

i can't remember the last time we celebrated your birthday, do you?
we celebrated once, it was two years ago, i guess..
since before, whenever i ask about your birthday plan you always say that you wanted to go on a kind-of  'soul-searching' day for yourself... you wanted to be alone on your day..
but you always have the plan of celebrating your day with your friends.. isn't it? and i am always not invited.. haha no hard feelings ;p
of course i want to be with you on your day.. and befriend your friends. but i guess that's just too much to ask.
it's not like i am mad with that.. besides it's your day and your decision after all
maybe i am only a little jealous cos its not like you made plan/s to be with me, i hope you ever had... even just in your mind