Sunday, July 19, 2015

little big steps

Saying that you are not happy anymore is more hurtful than just breaking up with her. Maybe you could just have cheated on her than told her that.
She's very hurt, like hell. She's lost. She's breaking and bleeding inside. Somewhere inside herself that no one has ever seen or touched before.
With all the things that's going on in her life now, it is the best decision for her not to think anymore. She gets by day-by-day, she manages herself to smile and laugh. Here are some things that MIGHT interest you or MIGHT answer some questions and also SOME of the things that she wanted to say if you could've just let her reach you and talk to you.

She actually deactivated her Facebook account before she blocked you in Facebook. She had a Facebook-free week. She had a problem at home, she wanted to talk to you, she wanted you to listen to her. She wanted to run away... but she has nowhere to go.
She blocked you in Facebook. Yep, she did. Did you know why? Seeing your posts, whatever it may be, she's just so jealous and she knows it. She keeps on stalking you every now and then. She wanted to stop herself from stalking you, from hurting herself, from crying again. She needed it. Not for anybody else, not for anything else but that and for herself alone.
She's been trying too hard. She's doesn't want to be the one who's left behind. At least. that's what she wanted everyone to see. Everyone who know what happened to you two, but doesn't know her, and FYI, she hates that.
July 14 - she succeeded stopping herself from replying to you. She wanted to have a conversation to you - so badly.  But she didn't know what to say, what to say to keep a conversation going, and she's afraid the door will shut to her face.
Thankful. She's thankful to this lady stranger who gave her things to think about, made her realize things and thought her that no matter what advice she get, no one can true-ly help her but herself. Right now, she's surrendering to the pain the world has to give and to the sweet agony of missing you especially when it's 3 in the morning,

She needed everything she's done, think about that. She doesn't want it but she needed it.

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